Lockdown bought up a lot of things for me. Physically, emotionally, and financially.
Trying to navigate 2 companies through a global pandemic, and subsequent recession, has certainly tested me. There’s been tears. Theres been many many a late night in the office (yes, I was fortunate enough because of the location and size of my office I could still safely work through). And there’s certainly been the existential life crisis thoughts at 2am of ‘what am I doing and how did I create this life for myself?!’
But it also gave me some space to think, and question some of the behaviour patterns that I’d long come to perform rote, without actually ever questioning if it was serving me. Stripped of the usual time on the hamster wheel that is a busy life, here’s some things I took away:
Quality over quantity: In lockdown, it really was only safe to see my nearest and dearest, and since my family live interstate, for me that meant my 4 closest friends. Normally I’ll have a jam packed week of events, parties, breakfast catch ups and after work wines, with a smattering of friends, acquaintances, potential suitors, and work connections. Removing these meant ‘doubling down’ on those really close friendships, having much more time to enjoy their company, and being much more aware of how f*cking blessed I am to have them. So ‘Quality over quantity ‘ - that mantra is now the rule I live by in my social life.
It’s OK to not be OK: I put my hand up really early in the sh*t show that was COVID lock down and reached out to my mentor to say ‘I am not coping so great right now. My anxiety is through the roof, I’m struggling to adapt to this change in routine personally, and I feel the weight of every single employees wellbeing on my shoulders..”. It’s not something I’m usually good at - admitting my frailties, my fears. I honestly don’t know how I would have got through it without having this person not only give me practical advice (like ‘You miss your workout routine? Hire a reformer, its not weather dependant so you can train every day”) to just checking in every 2-3 days for a ‘Hows your head?” update). It helped me learn that the only person I was punishing by not admitting when I was struggling was myself. So I’m learning (and its a work in progress) to ask for help and know that its OK to not always be #killingit personally and professionally.
Fitness is remarkably easy to lose: With my new found cycling at centennial hobby, and my pilates reformer taking over the front meeting room at the office, I was pretty sure I was nailing lockdown fitness. But the reality was, I definitely wasn’t pushing myself as hard as a trainer does (I still cannot fathom how I used to get through a 90min burn at Upcycle..), and I wasnt going to events and meetings, racing from A to B, burning calories and too busy to be snacking. Let’s just say covid gave me the chance to sample ALL the snacks. And wash them down with a giant glass of pinot.. Yes, i went on way more long walks than normal. Yes I exercised most days. But my first workouts back at the assortment of places I visit on Classpass nearly f*cking killed me. It made me appreciate how lucky I am to have access to these fitness experts/studios and how much I missed them in their absence. I’ll never snooze my alarm and miss a workout again…
My food habits were sh*thouse: After packing on the COVID kilos (funny how wearing yoga pants every day lulled me into a false sense of security, that my jeans definitely snapped me out of), I knew I needed a reset So I went all out (how unlike me) and kick started things with 12 day detox from Slim By Nature, banned the ‘desert every night’ habit I had picked up, and started getting a few of my meals for the week delivered. Cooking takes time, and it’s time I could be using more constructively. I’ve tried a few different options but I’ve just started using Macrobite and they’re definitely my favourite. I can’t do frozen meals, and find those vacuum sealed ones a little strange, but they actually deliver their meals fresh which removed my guilt about outsourcing my cooking. So now I have a good routine down pat which also makes me shudder at how many nights I just had champagne and deep fried finger food at an event for dinner.
Experts are invaluable: Watching the absolutely massacre of my companies’ revenue, the share market in turmoil, and the daily updates from the govt on new grants available, I relied heavily during COVID on my amazing CFO, book keeper, accountant, & personal financial planner. Their calm and rational advice, strategic actions and deep domain expertise saved me not only immeasurable money but the emotional sanity of knowing they had it all under control. In all honesty, they were roles that I generally didn’t think too much about in my day-to-day life. Now I’ve got all of their names tattoo’d on my forearm in a loveheart…. Kidding. But close.
As I write this, I’m wondering if its too soon to be saying ‘post COVID’. But I guess I need to find a way to delineate life before the ‘total lock down’ and this new ‘norm’ we find ourselves in. And I’m taking these learnings into the new world with me. Let’s hope it doesn’t take another global pandemic for me to learn this stuff…